Proverbs 30

The Words of Agur Ben Yakeh

1-2 God? Who Needs Him? The skeptic swore, "There is no God! No God!—I can do anything I want! I'm more animal than human; so-called human intelligence escapes me.
3-4 "I flunked 'wisdom.' I see no evidence of a holy God. Has anyone ever seen Anyone climb into Heaven and take charge? grab the winds and control them? gather the rains in his bucket? stake out the ends of the earth? Just tell me his name, tell me the names of his sons. Come on now—tell me!"
5-6 The believer replied, "Every promise of God proves true; he protects everyone who runs to him for help. So don't second-guess him; he might take you to task and show up your lies."
7-9 And then he prayed, "God, I'm asking for two things before I die; don't refuse me— Banish lies from my lips and liars from my presence. Give me enough food to live on, neither too much nor too little. If I'm too full, I might get independent, saying, 'God? Who needs him?' If I'm poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of my God."

10  Don't blow the whistle on your fellow workers behind their backs; They'll accuse you of being underhanded, and then you'll be the guilty one!
11 Don't curse your father or fail to bless your mother.
12 Don't imagine yourself to be quite presentable when you haven't had a bath in weeks.
13 Don't be stuck-up and think you're better than everyone else.
14 Don't be greedy, merciless and cruel as wolves, Tearing into the poor and feasting on them, shredding the needy to pieces only to discard them.
15-16 A leech has twin daughters named "Gimme" and "Gimme more." Four Insatiables Three things are never satisfied, no, there are four that never say, "That's enough, thank you!"— hell, a barren womb, a parched land, a forest fire.

17  An eye that disdains a father and despises a mother— that eye will be plucked out by wild vultures and consumed by young eagles.

Four Mysteries

18-19 Three things amaze me, no, four things I'll never understand— how an eagle flies so high in the sky, how a snake glides over a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, why adolescents act the way they do.

20  Here's how a prostitute operates: she has sex with her client, Takes a bath, then asks, "Who's next?"

Four Intolerables

21-23 Three things are too much for even the earth to bear, yes, four things shake its foundations— when the janitor becomes the boss, when a fool gets rich, when a whore is voted "woman of the year," when a "girlfriend" replaces a faithful wife.

Four Small Wonders

24-28 There are four small creatures, wisest of the wise they are— ants—frail as they are, get plenty of food in for the winter; marmots—vulnerable as they are, manage to arrange for rock-solid homes; locusts—leaderless insects, yet they strip the field like an army regiment; lizards—easy enough to catch, but they sneak past vigilant palace guards.

Four Dignitaries

29-31 There are three solemn dignitaries, four that are impressive in their bearing— a lion, king of the beasts, deferring to none; a rooster, proud and strutting; a billy goat; a head of state in stately procession.

32-33  If you're dumb enough to call attention to yourself by offending people and making rude gestures, Don't be surprised if someone bloodies your nose. Churned milk turns into butter; riled emotions turn into fist fights.

Proverbs 30

1 The words of Agur the son of Jakeh; The oracle. The man saith unto Ithiel, unto Ithiel and Ucal:

2 Surely I am more brutish than any man, And have not the understanding of a man;

3 And I have not learned wisdom, Neither have I the knowledge of the Holy One.

4 Who hath ascended up into heaven, and descended? Who hath gathered the wind in his fists? Who hath bound the waters in his garment? Who hath established all the ends of the earth? What is his name, and what is his son’s name, if thou knowest?

5 Every word of God is tried: He is a shield unto them that take refuge in him.

6 Add thou not unto his words, Lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

7 Two things have I asked of thee; Deny me them not before I die:

8 Remove far from me falsehood and lies; Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is needful for me:

9 Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is Jehovah? Or lest I be poor, and steal, And use profanely the name of my God.

10 Slander not a servant unto his master, Lest he curse thee, and thou be held guilty.

11 There is a generation that curse their father, And bless not their mother.

12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, And yet are not washed from their filthiness.

13 There is a generation, oh how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up.

14 There is a generation whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, To devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

15 The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give. There are three things that are never satisfied, Yea, four that say not, Enough:

16 Sheol; and the barren womb; The earth that is not satisfied with water; And the fire that saith not, Enough.

17 The eye that mocketh at his father, And despiseth to obey his mother, The ravens of the valley shall pick it out, And the young eagles shall eat it.

18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yea, four which I know not:

19 The way of an eagle in the air; The way of a serpent upon a rock; The way of a ship in the midst of the sea; And the way of a man with a maiden.

20 So is the way of an adulterous woman; She eateth, and wipeth her mouth, And saith, I have done no wickedness.

21 For three things the earth doth tremble, And for four, which it cannot bear:

22 For a servant when he is king; And a fool when he is filled with food;

23 For an odious woman when she is married; And a handmaid that is heir to her mistress.

24 There are four things which are little upon the earth, But they are exceeding wise:

25 The ants are a people not strong, Yet they provide their food in the summer;

26 The conies are but a feeble folk, Yet make they their houses in the rocks;

27 The locusts have no king, Yet go they forth all of them by bands;

28 The lizard taketh hold with her hands, Yet is she in kings’ palaces.

29 There are three things which are stately in their march, Yea, four which are stately in going:

30 The lion, which is mightiest among beasts, And turneth not away for any;

31 The greyhound; the he-goat also; And the king against whom there is no rising up.

32 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, Or if thou hast thought evil, Lay thy hand upon thy mouth.

33 For the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, And the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood; So the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife.