Respect
NO RULES; JUST RIGHT
I love the movie “Heat” with Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, and one of the things that amazes me each time is how torn I am over who to root for. DeNiro is the head of the bad guys--- and they are BAD! And Pacino is the head of the police force trying to stop and catch the bad guys. There’s even a shoot-out in the movie where I’m actually hoping the bad guys get away.
Yet, one of the top burglaries of all time is the LA “Heat” burglary where a few men robbed a bank in downtown LA in the same fashion that the movie characters did, and proceeded to have a shootout with the police the same way as was done in the movie. In real life there’s no doubt who’s side I’m on…
The point? Depending on who you are, and your upbringing, there is almost a universal desire to fight authority…
We live in a society that admires disobedience and rebellion.
Take notes on how advertisements, TV shows, and movies portray authority figures: Parents are clueless morons,Teachers are about the same, cops are buffoons, etc… Even “movie mom”, a site I consult before seeing every movie I go to (or even rent) rates on this issue.
For the most part, we don’t really care for authority figures in this country.
We value independence – and we resent having anybody tell us what to do.
Intro
Arguably, the baby boomers were the generation most distrustful and suspicious of institutions than any previous generation in American history. And we were raised by them…
The Viet Nam Ware shook their faith our military, presidency, and legislators.
Politics and Government in general fell from grace in 1973 with the Watergate scandal.
The CIA, possible Kennedy assasination, and more continued to wreck the nation's respect for government agencies, the office of the presidency and more.
In the 60's peaceful protestors were shot by police (at Kent state), and more.
In our time, the Rodney King video beating, LAPD scandal, and New York Police Dept's brutal treatment of a suspect all continued to lower the bar on our respect for police
Even in the realm of religion and, specifically, Christianity, we saw leaders toy with the minds, hearts, money, and spirits of so many people through the exploits of Jim Bakker, Swaggert, and Oral Roberts.
We are reaping the results of the "no authority" ideas of the 60’s. No respect for anyone, even God.
No fear of God. I can do what I want to and no one can tell me what to do.
Todays commandment is the 5th on the list. It can be found in Exodus 20. Let's read it.
Notice, It is the only command that comes with a promise:
The first four commandments addressed how human beings are to relate to God. The last six address how human beings are to relate to each other.
Just as the first command is foundational for the other nine, so the fifth command serves as a basis for the last six.
And it stands in an important location in the list. The fifth commandment is a transitional command.
Its placement in the list (serving as a launch pad for the following 5 commandments) suggests that the home is the primary source of values, ethics and morality.
much of what we become in life is influenced by the early years and how we respond to our parent’s authority.
We've asked the question about how serious each commandment is before we've studied each of the 4 before tonight. The question is typically something like "is this commandment a big deal to God?"
And then we read some old testament story about someone breaking this commandment and getting stoned to death. This commandment is no different…
Deut. 21:18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
HISTORY
Who is the audience? Children? No.
the command, as all the commands were a personal direction to the grown men and women at the base of the Mountain.
1) Remember that the ones who were addressed by God through Moses were just released from 400 years of slavery.
if this was a community of people that had to work the fields, and work in construction, and their livelihood depended on how much they could accomplish, what do you think their attitudes were to the older generations?
They had lived in a culture that devalued age; as you got older it was harder to work and if you could not work, you were worthless. We do the same thing today. It’s called early retirement.
2) Also, since they were leaving their prior state of slavery, and starting a new life as a separate people group, They lacked the social structure that would provide for people in need.
That’s why there are so many commands about how they were to provide for the poor and even for strangers who were living in their land.
There was no Social Security, no retirement plans, so older people had to rely on their children when they could no longer care for themselves.
But God knows that we are inherently selfish, that’s why the New Testament is filled with Commands to Love one another, Care for one another, Give preference to one another, look out for the good for one another.
And the Israelites even came up with ways to their own estate if their parents ran into a financial need.
AUTHORITY BEYOND OUR FOLKS
Our first step in getting a grip on what this commandment means in our lives today is to see how important respecting the authority of our parents really is.
THE MODEL APPLIES TO THE REST OF OUR EARTHLY WORLD
The Protestant Reformer Martin Luther said, "Out of the authority of parents all other authority is derived and developed"
Our duty towards others is learned and begins to be practiced first at home.
The fifth command is using parental authority as a model for how we honor all authority in our lives, and it uses parental authority because the parent-child relationship is so basic.
Rom. 13:7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
if children honor & respect their parents, they invariably show honor & respect to their teachers, to police officers, to elected officials, to their bosses, and so on.
Dwight Moody- I wouldn’t give a snap of my finger for a religion that doesn’t begin at home and doesn’t regulate conduct toward parents.
Just as a failure to honor God with exclusive allegiance keeps us from obeying the other commands, so a failure to honor our parents results in an inability to honor any other human being. In other words, if we don’t show respect and love to our families, we will struggle to show honor and compassion to our friends, neighbors and strangers.
The kid who grows up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to have a hard time keeping a job. The bottom line is that there are times in life when you have to do what people tell you to do whether you like it or not. And your relationship with your parents is supposed to prepare you for those situations
Let's look at other Biblical examples of relationships under authority.
husband/wife (1Cor. 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Eph. 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.)
employer/employee Col. 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men
government/citizen Rom. 13:1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
Supremacy of God’s authority – Acts4:19 But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.
THE MODEL APPLIES TO OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
Parents represent God’s authority in this world.
Children have to be taught how to honor their father and mother. Prov. 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
If we can't learn from the discipline of our parents we won't be changed by God's discipline in our lives. If we can't see that our parents are trying to change our behavior, then we won't see some of the things that God is doing in our lives as a means of trying to change our behavior.
If someone has a hard time following their parent without total obedience, how, then, will they follow God who is unseen, and whose voice is harder to recognize?
SO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HONOR OUR PARENTS?
I would venture to say that most people say it means we need to do what they say. We need to obey them…
OBEY
Eph 6:1-3, paul adds "obeying" to the concept. Eph. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise — 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
This command is more than about obeying, it's about respect.
HONOR = WEIGHT
The Hebrew word translated "honor" here means to "make heavy" or "weighty". The picture we should get in our heads is weighing down someone with esteem and respect.
The opposite of "honor" is to take someone "lightly," by withholding honor and respect.
We honor are parents my giving them weight in our lives. The word honor literally means to make heavy. He says to respect them and give them weight. Honor the authority God has given parents.
To honour means “to reverence, to value or prize highly”
WE'RE NOT KIDS ANYMORE, SO HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO US?
our temptation isn’t so much to rebel as it’s to dismiss our parents
Read from the email from my mom that I received today.
no matter what our age, we are to treat our parents with high esteem
The time for a child to obey a parent ceases; but the requirement to honour a parent never ceases.
HOW TO RESPECT
Revere them: to regard somebody with admiration and deep respect
We tend to honor people whom we think deserve it or earn it – we honor great athletes with awards, we honor successful politicians with positions of authority, we honor successful people with plaques.
But God says that we are to honor our parents not just because of what they have done, but simply because of who they are. (like shadrach…)
God didn’t say to honor your parents if they’re honorable. Nowhere does God say that respect must be earned before you have to give it. God simply calls us to honor our parents simply because they are our parents.
Nowhere in this commandment does it tell us that we are to honor them because they are great parents, or even good parents. We are to honor them because of the position they hold in relation to our lives.
Elevate them: to raise something to a higher level or position
They must increase, we must decrease. We must not continue to put ourselves over our parents, but put ourselve under them.
Ex. 21:17 “Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.
Serve them: meet their needs; take care of them when they get older.
Pray for them: very little else could be greater than this.
Enjoy them- delight in them; take their advice. Listen to them. Spend volitional time with them
Confide in them: they are still your parents, and they want to be a part of your life. Share your deep self with them and be open to their involvement in your life.
Prov. 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Thank them; recognize what they do. thank them for what they do or what they've done. even in light of their failings and mistakes
Psa. 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS AREN'T BELIEVERS, OR ASK YOU TO DO THINGS THAT GO AGAINST GOD?
A limitation to parental authority is foundin Acts 4:19 when Peter and John tell the religious leaders of their day, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. (Acts 4:19 NIV).
This section tells us that there are times when a legitimate authority figure in our life might command us to do something that would be displeasing to God. There are times when a parent’s will could come in conflict with God’s will, and for the follower of Jesus Christ, obedience to God’s will must take priority. This occurs in rare cases when a parent commands a child to do something explicitly forbidden in the Bible.
Luke 20:25 He said to them, “Then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s". In other words, so long as it does not go against God, do whatever is required of our authority .
LIVE LONG IN THE LAND
The promise that was made to the people of Israel was not that if they obeyed their parents, they wouldn’t die young.
Throughout the Scriptures, it’s made clear that in order for Israel to “live long in the land,” they had to be faithful and obedient to GOD
CONCLUSIONS
God has established relationships of authority in our lives and we express our devotion to God by honoring the people over us.
It's never too late to start
How we treat our parents not only impacts them, it also impacts us. There is a blessing or a curse for us based on our treatment of our parents. To honor or fail to honor our parents is a choice that takes us down one of two roads. The choice is ours.
If an adult doesn’t honor his parents then he is teaching his children not to honor him. This is really scary to me because of what I see in my family. I never really saw my dad make much effort to keep in frequent contact with his mom while I grew up. Even as an adult I can't say I saw much. Now, my dad and I don't have the contact I would have hoped for. My grandmother died on Monday morning and I still have not talked to him... But the thought that this is what I'm teaching my kids really scares me! I'm teaching them how to deal with me when they get older by maintaining a lack of relationship with my parents.
we honor our parents because God loves us and we seek to love them as God has loved us.
It is easy to say we honor God – because frankly, he’s invisible!
It is more difficult to honor our parents – especially when we are in the same room with them
research shows that most people;s view of God is shaped by their view of the father.
the best way to honor your parents is by having a personal relationship with the One who created them. This is my greatest dream for Kayleb and Averie. This is different for my parents since they are not believers….
Proverbs 3:27 says "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act." Do good things for your parents as often as you can. One word of encouragement to a lonely parent will mean more to them than a hundred flowers at their funeral. Remember "Field of Dreams" or the song “In The Living Years”?
Notice that there’s no age limitation in this commandment. It doesn’t say ’honor your father and mother until you move out of the house and start paying your own auto insurance.’
It simply says, "Honor your father and mother." It’s something that you’re supposed to do your whole entire life!"
I love the movie “Heat” with Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, and one of the things that amazes me each time is how torn I am over who to root for. DeNiro is the head of the bad guys--- and they are BAD! And Pacino is the head of the police force trying to stop and catch the bad guys. There’s even a shoot-out in the movie where I’m actually hoping the bad guys get away.
Yet, one of the top burglaries of all time is the LA “Heat” burglary where a few men robbed a bank in downtown LA in the same fashion that the movie characters did, and proceeded to have a shootout with the police the same way as was done in the movie. In real life there’s no doubt who’s side I’m on…
The point? Depending on who you are, and your upbringing, there is almost a universal desire to fight authority…
We live in a society that admires disobedience and rebellion.
Take notes on how advertisements, TV shows, and movies portray authority figures: Parents are clueless morons,Teachers are about the same, cops are buffoons, etc… Even “movie mom”, a site I consult before seeing every movie I go to (or even rent) rates on this issue.
For the most part, we don’t really care for authority figures in this country.
We value independence – and we resent having anybody tell us what to do.
Intro
Arguably, the baby boomers were the generation most distrustful and suspicious of institutions than any previous generation in American history. And we were raised by them…
The Viet Nam Ware shook their faith our military, presidency, and legislators.
Politics and Government in general fell from grace in 1973 with the Watergate scandal.
The CIA, possible Kennedy assasination, and more continued to wreck the nation's respect for government agencies, the office of the presidency and more.
In the 60's peaceful protestors were shot by police (at Kent state), and more.
In our time, the Rodney King video beating, LAPD scandal, and New York Police Dept's brutal treatment of a suspect all continued to lower the bar on our respect for police
Even in the realm of religion and, specifically, Christianity, we saw leaders toy with the minds, hearts, money, and spirits of so many people through the exploits of Jim Bakker, Swaggert, and Oral Roberts.
We are reaping the results of the "no authority" ideas of the 60’s. No respect for anyone, even God.
No fear of God. I can do what I want to and no one can tell me what to do.
Todays commandment is the 5th on the list. It can be found in Exodus 20. Let's read it.
Notice, It is the only command that comes with a promise:
The first four commandments addressed how human beings are to relate to God. The last six address how human beings are to relate to each other.
Just as the first command is foundational for the other nine, so the fifth command serves as a basis for the last six.
And it stands in an important location in the list. The fifth commandment is a transitional command.
Its placement in the list (serving as a launch pad for the following 5 commandments) suggests that the home is the primary source of values, ethics and morality.
much of what we become in life is influenced by the early years and how we respond to our parent’s authority.
We've asked the question about how serious each commandment is before we've studied each of the 4 before tonight. The question is typically something like "is this commandment a big deal to God?"
And then we read some old testament story about someone breaking this commandment and getting stoned to death. This commandment is no different…
Deut. 21:18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
HISTORY
Who is the audience? Children? No.
the command, as all the commands were a personal direction to the grown men and women at the base of the Mountain.
1) Remember that the ones who were addressed by God through Moses were just released from 400 years of slavery.
if this was a community of people that had to work the fields, and work in construction, and their livelihood depended on how much they could accomplish, what do you think their attitudes were to the older generations?
They had lived in a culture that devalued age; as you got older it was harder to work and if you could not work, you were worthless. We do the same thing today. It’s called early retirement.
2) Also, since they were leaving their prior state of slavery, and starting a new life as a separate people group, They lacked the social structure that would provide for people in need.
That’s why there are so many commands about how they were to provide for the poor and even for strangers who were living in their land.
There was no Social Security, no retirement plans, so older people had to rely on their children when they could no longer care for themselves.
But God knows that we are inherently selfish, that’s why the New Testament is filled with Commands to Love one another, Care for one another, Give preference to one another, look out for the good for one another.
And the Israelites even came up with ways to their own estate if their parents ran into a financial need.
AUTHORITY BEYOND OUR FOLKS
Our first step in getting a grip on what this commandment means in our lives today is to see how important respecting the authority of our parents really is.
THE MODEL APPLIES TO THE REST OF OUR EARTHLY WORLD
The Protestant Reformer Martin Luther said, "Out of the authority of parents all other authority is derived and developed"
Our duty towards others is learned and begins to be practiced first at home.
The fifth command is using parental authority as a model for how we honor all authority in our lives, and it uses parental authority because the parent-child relationship is so basic.
Rom. 13:7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
if children honor & respect their parents, they invariably show honor & respect to their teachers, to police officers, to elected officials, to their bosses, and so on.
Dwight Moody- I wouldn’t give a snap of my finger for a religion that doesn’t begin at home and doesn’t regulate conduct toward parents.
Just as a failure to honor God with exclusive allegiance keeps us from obeying the other commands, so a failure to honor our parents results in an inability to honor any other human being. In other words, if we don’t show respect and love to our families, we will struggle to show honor and compassion to our friends, neighbors and strangers.
The kid who grows up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to have a hard time keeping a job. The bottom line is that there are times in life when you have to do what people tell you to do whether you like it or not. And your relationship with your parents is supposed to prepare you for those situations
Let's look at other Biblical examples of relationships under authority.
husband/wife (1Cor. 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Eph. 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.)
employer/employee Col. 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men
government/citizen Rom. 13:1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
Supremacy of God’s authority – Acts4:19 But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.
THE MODEL APPLIES TO OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
Parents represent God’s authority in this world.
Children have to be taught how to honor their father and mother. Prov. 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
If we can't learn from the discipline of our parents we won't be changed by God's discipline in our lives. If we can't see that our parents are trying to change our behavior, then we won't see some of the things that God is doing in our lives as a means of trying to change our behavior.
If someone has a hard time following their parent without total obedience, how, then, will they follow God who is unseen, and whose voice is harder to recognize?
SO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HONOR OUR PARENTS?
I would venture to say that most people say it means we need to do what they say. We need to obey them…
OBEY
Eph 6:1-3, paul adds "obeying" to the concept. Eph. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise — 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
This command is more than about obeying, it's about respect.
HONOR = WEIGHT
The Hebrew word translated "honor" here means to "make heavy" or "weighty". The picture we should get in our heads is weighing down someone with esteem and respect.
The opposite of "honor" is to take someone "lightly," by withholding honor and respect.
We honor are parents my giving them weight in our lives. The word honor literally means to make heavy. He says to respect them and give them weight. Honor the authority God has given parents.
To honour means “to reverence, to value or prize highly”
WE'RE NOT KIDS ANYMORE, SO HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO US?
our temptation isn’t so much to rebel as it’s to dismiss our parents
Read from the email from my mom that I received today.
no matter what our age, we are to treat our parents with high esteem
The time for a child to obey a parent ceases; but the requirement to honour a parent never ceases.
HOW TO RESPECT
Revere them: to regard somebody with admiration and deep respect
We tend to honor people whom we think deserve it or earn it – we honor great athletes with awards, we honor successful politicians with positions of authority, we honor successful people with plaques.
But God says that we are to honor our parents not just because of what they have done, but simply because of who they are. (like shadrach…)
God didn’t say to honor your parents if they’re honorable. Nowhere does God say that respect must be earned before you have to give it. God simply calls us to honor our parents simply because they are our parents.
Nowhere in this commandment does it tell us that we are to honor them because they are great parents, or even good parents. We are to honor them because of the position they hold in relation to our lives.
Elevate them: to raise something to a higher level or position
They must increase, we must decrease. We must not continue to put ourselves over our parents, but put ourselve under them.
Ex. 21:17 “Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.
Serve them: meet their needs; take care of them when they get older.
Pray for them: very little else could be greater than this.
Enjoy them- delight in them; take their advice. Listen to them. Spend volitional time with them
Confide in them: they are still your parents, and they want to be a part of your life. Share your deep self with them and be open to their involvement in your life.
Prov. 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Thank them; recognize what they do. thank them for what they do or what they've done. even in light of their failings and mistakes
Psa. 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS AREN'T BELIEVERS, OR ASK YOU TO DO THINGS THAT GO AGAINST GOD?
A limitation to parental authority is foundin Acts 4:19 when Peter and John tell the religious leaders of their day, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. (Acts 4:19 NIV).
This section tells us that there are times when a legitimate authority figure in our life might command us to do something that would be displeasing to God. There are times when a parent’s will could come in conflict with God’s will, and for the follower of Jesus Christ, obedience to God’s will must take priority. This occurs in rare cases when a parent commands a child to do something explicitly forbidden in the Bible.
Luke 20:25 He said to them, “Then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s". In other words, so long as it does not go against God, do whatever is required of our authority .
LIVE LONG IN THE LAND
The promise that was made to the people of Israel was not that if they obeyed their parents, they wouldn’t die young.
Throughout the Scriptures, it’s made clear that in order for Israel to “live long in the land,” they had to be faithful and obedient to GOD
CONCLUSIONS
God has established relationships of authority in our lives and we express our devotion to God by honoring the people over us.
It's never too late to start
How we treat our parents not only impacts them, it also impacts us. There is a blessing or a curse for us based on our treatment of our parents. To honor or fail to honor our parents is a choice that takes us down one of two roads. The choice is ours.
If an adult doesn’t honor his parents then he is teaching his children not to honor him. This is really scary to me because of what I see in my family. I never really saw my dad make much effort to keep in frequent contact with his mom while I grew up. Even as an adult I can't say I saw much. Now, my dad and I don't have the contact I would have hoped for. My grandmother died on Monday morning and I still have not talked to him... But the thought that this is what I'm teaching my kids really scares me! I'm teaching them how to deal with me when they get older by maintaining a lack of relationship with my parents.
we honor our parents because God loves us and we seek to love them as God has loved us.
It is easy to say we honor God – because frankly, he’s invisible!
It is more difficult to honor our parents – especially when we are in the same room with them
research shows that most people;s view of God is shaped by their view of the father.
the best way to honor your parents is by having a personal relationship with the One who created them. This is my greatest dream for Kayleb and Averie. This is different for my parents since they are not believers….
Proverbs 3:27 says "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act." Do good things for your parents as often as you can. One word of encouragement to a lonely parent will mean more to them than a hundred flowers at their funeral. Remember "Field of Dreams" or the song “In The Living Years”?
Notice that there’s no age limitation in this commandment. It doesn’t say ’honor your father and mother until you move out of the house and start paying your own auto insurance.’
It simply says, "Honor your father and mother." It’s something that you’re supposed to do your whole entire life!"
