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Silverskylark,
I could see how this passage could cause you to doubt your faith. When not properly understood the book of Romans is like dynamite in the hands of the town drunk. It is important to point out with this passage that Paul is not talking about salvation. He is not saying God chooses to save some and not others, and who are we to question. That is what the Calvinist teach. And I agree with you, that view point makes God cruel. But that is not what Paul is saying at all. He had just been talking about Israel in the the preceding verses. In verse 6 he says, "But it is not as though the word of God has failed. For they are not all Israel who are descended from Israel;" Paul was talking about National Israel. Just because God had used them did not mean that he could not discard them when He was finished. Not individuals mind you, but the nation as a whole. The nation of Israel had a purpose and they fulfilled that purpose and now that God was finished with them He could discard them. Paul goes on in this chapter to use the example of Pharaoh. God used Pharaoh to accomplish His purposes and then no longer had need of Him. What God did not do is decide that Pharaoh could not be saved, it had nothing to do with his salvation. Same with Jacob and Esau. God can bless some and not bless others as He sees fit, as fits with His plan. But that did not mean that Jacob could be saved and Esau could not.

I hope this explanation helps you somewhat. I think Calvinism is a horrible set theology. And this is just one example of why.

I hope you are able to receive this message. There is no way at this time on YOU VERSION to send messages directly to a person or respond to what they wrote, which is really frustrating. But if you have any more questions feel free to email me at (tom.stolarick@gmail.com) and if you get a chance check out my blog. (Stologic.blogspot.com)