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I Can't sleep, and yes i know its 2:42 A.m.
(^-^) Thats what working the night shift and having a week off of school does to you...


This whole Psalm truely gives me hope and reminds me of what person is most important in my life. The Lord.

Read the highlighted passages and you'll have a clear picture of where I am in my life right now.

Music has a way of moving me, I LOVE IT! And here, David literally is pouring his very being into his music!! "Answer me when I call to you...How long will you people ruin my reputation?...make groundless accusations?"

This is truely my feeling right now. Being accused of something that isn't wrong by any means...GROUNDLESS ACCUSATIONS based on others past experience.

Not letting anger control you is something I am having trouble with, which is usually rare. I can't seem to not get angry with some who judge me based on a Godly decision. Pray for me on this one guys, i'm still sorting it out....

All of my life, I have had honesty preached to me by my father. He always told me never to lie. And when I did when I was little, he would spank me repeatedly for it. well, even when i told the truth the spankings never went away. That is how important it was for my father. So as I grew older, I would lie less and less. And I would like to think of myself as an honest person. But later, when I grew older. I had found that not just my father, but my mother as well had lied to me about important things from a very young age. It is hard not to be angered by this. And the reason never was "to protect me" it was for him and his rights as the custodial parent. father about my mothers calls we never recieved and other stuff that needs to be left alone in the past where it belongs.

That feeling, yes....that ugly feeling right there where you realize that these lies are not small but big. And not only that, but a lie you have believed since you were very little because you thought you could trust your family because they "would never lie to you". What do you do in a situation like that? This was a couple months ago.

Is keeping an important decision from your family the same as lying. What if you feel they don't deserve to know something? Rejection is something nobody wants to feel. I know that if I was rejected by God...it would be something unfathomable...

Is being honest with people telling them everything that happens in your life?

God already knows everything you have done, but you still must tell him things. Keep nothing from him...is the same true for family? Confession? Or is it as long as you are "right with God" what you tell to others is your own business.

All I know is that, that feeling. The feeling where you know something that everyone around you doesn't? It doesn't feel very good. But telling others something big is even harder. Especially since a community usually has preconcieved notions of a happening without even getting to know the why or how, or even getting to know you...

I know this passage has turned into somewhat of a rant...I'm listening to "I will Possess Your Heart" By Death Cab for Cutie.

But I would like to say that people need time to say things that need to be said or explained in a certain way. Yes, I know that there is something I need to tell some certain people...

But people assume and judge, God doesn't. And this decision has been made with God at the head. So I am just asking people to give me time...and not to judge, but to understand...

The "definition" of honesty is: (according to good 'ol webster):

Main Entry: hon·es·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈä-nəs-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural hon·es·ties
Date: 14th century
1obsolete : chastity
2 a: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b: adherence to the facts : sincerity
3: any of a genus (Lunaria) of European herbs of the mustard family with toothed leaves and flat disk-shaped siliques
synonyms honesty , honor , integrity , probity mean uprightness of character or action. honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. honor suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one's profession, calling, or position. integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. probity implies tried and proven honesty or integrity.


I'm sorry about the confusion of this passage, lol. ^-^ But just please trust in God and Pray for me....that's all I'm asking...