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I was golfing with my daughter, Courtney, when I watched her make a bad shot, she grunted, “Oh, Neil!” It was then that I realized that she was mocking me. She used my self-talk to express her bad shot.

What do you say to yourself? When you practice self-talk, what is the tone of the conversation? Everyone does it, but how is your conversation with your soul - your mind, will, and emotions. There is an answer for debilitating self-talk, it’s not in the New Age version of inner-healing, but in having your identity in Christ. Knowing your identity in Christ will change the way that you accuse and condemn yourself.

First of all, love the Father. Express your love to your God. Be grateful. Show your love by the way you live, the decisions that you make, the thoughts that you allow to linger in your mind. Learn the nature and character of God. God is good. He is easy to love when you know Him.

Secondly, practice God’s love toward others. This sounds simple enough, but in reality it’s the hardest assignment known to man. To love others is the opposite of this world system. It is contrary to the way we carnally think. When you truly examine yourself, you will find deep seeded issues with others. Deal with those issues, and you will surgically remove the seed of cancer from your body.

Often its the resentment, bitterness, and offenses that you have toward others is the exact same resentment, bitterness, and offense that you have with yourself!
Thirdly, accept who you are in Christ. I know that there are those who are narcissistic. I know people who have so pampered themselves that they are perverted in self-love. But most people who are overly complimentary of themselves are really in the deepest of self-criticism. They are the most insecure of all.

It’s the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. Friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God!

Whether you’re on the golf course, or the boardroom, watch what you are saying to yourself. Speak the words that God has spoken over you. “I am more than a conqueror, I can do all things in Christ Jesus, I am the head and not the tail, the top and not the bottom. I am a new creation in Christ. Be strong and courageous, show yourself a man!”