The Difficulty of
Today was one of those days it doen't feel natural to offer praise, though I'm surrounded by things to be thankful for. One of those weird estrogen days when everything negative is swarming in my mind and even though I'm wearing nothing with buttons, it feels like I missed one and am all crooked and disheveled. When my faults, flaws, and failures hold the megaphone and drown out the beauty of the countless blessings. Like walking around with two people arguing in your ears. You know the angel on the shoulder is right, but the devil is way louder and so slick in his presentation. And I can't help but wonder if He likes it even more on days where our praise feels contrary to our human flakiness, like walking toward your beloved for a hug in the middle of a tornado. I was even asked today to pray in a meeting, and I am not a fan of praying out loud. I don't do it well. I wanted to argue that someone else should do it. But I knew that would just be one more moment of regret to wake up with and think about at around 3:00 am. So I bowed my head and did my best to offered some odd little pristine praise in the middle of a dirty, yucky day. I hope it made Him smile.... and if I'm going to hug anyone in the middle of a tornado, it might as well be God.
