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This verse has been ringing constantly in my ears, as of late.

Some verses seem to reverberate and echo in your brain and you end up repeating them through the days and weeks. A word from God seems to haunt you for a time, doing its work on your spirit. Over a period, the scripture that's been chasing after you and playing over and over in your heart completes its work:

1. It fades, after doing God's solemn, sovereign work of hardening your heart...or...

2. ...it encourages and emboldens you, giving you strength and hope and assurance now; it edifies and illuminates other scripture and creates a stronger vision of your life-purpose in Christ...or...

3. ...it causes you to stumble, to struggle, to be agitated, to be heart broken--it eventually turns your spirit to action of renewal or salvation.

Phil. 2:12 has been hurting me and scaring me and causing me to struggle. I'm stumbling over it as a new pastor. I've been reading C.H. Spurgeon's "Lectures to My Students" ("The Minister's Self-Watch") and it appears God is pressing in on my heart to examine, early in my ministry, my heart of hearts. He clearly wants me to --continue-- wrestling with the salvation in my heart with "fear and trembling."

It's been easy to live most of my "dead-Christian" life with no fear or trembling in the face of God. Now that I'm alive and aware of it, I'm praying that God would tear my spirit to shreds and that I can be assured that--no matter the earthly blessings he gives me, the wonders or joys he provides, or the temporal triumphs and pleasures he permits--I will tremble before and fear the God of my heart; that I'll be starved and devastated and voracious in belonging to him.