Boundaries- part 2 (Good in/Bad out)
Good in/Bad out
Boundaries help us distinguish our property so we can take care of it!! We need to keep things that NURTURE us inside our fences and keep things that HARM us outside. We are instructed to "guard our hearts"... and setting boundaries is how we do that!
Sometimes we have bad on the inside and good on the outside... in these instances, we need to be able to open up our boundaries to let the good in and the bad out.
WE NEED GATES IN OUR FENCES!
For example, if I find out that I have some pain or sin within, I need to OPEN UP and communicate it to God and others, so that I can be healed. Confessing the pain and sin helps to "get it out" so it doesn't continue to poison us on the inside.
And when GOOD is on the outside, we need to open our gates and "let it in". Jesus speaks of the phenomenon in "receiving" HIM and HIS TRUTH (Rev 3:20; John 1:12). Others have good things to offer too; Often we will not open the gate to get these good things (AKA walls).. this causes us to stay in a state of deprivation!!
In short, boundaries are not walls!!. We need to have property lines that allow passing, but that are strong enough to keep out danger!
Often when people are abused while growing up, they reverse the function of boundaries.. keeping bad in and good out.
EXAMPLE: When Mary was growing up she suffered abuse from her father. She was not encouraged to develop good boundaries. As a result, she would close herself off, holding her pain inside; she would not open up to get it out of her soul. She wasn't open to let support from the outside in to heal her either.
Because of this unhealed childhood violation, Mary was unclear of where her lines were. She continued through life allowing others to "dump" more pain into her soul. And by the time she goes for help, her life is completely out of control.. she is carrying a lot of pain, still allowing abuse, and has allowed herself to be "walled off" from the help of outside support.
She desperately needs to reverse the way her boundaries work!! She needs fences that are strong enough to KEEP "bad out".. gates to let the stored bad out of her soul.. she needed to open the gate to let the GOOD she desperately needed in.
Created 4 months ago
