Celebrate Your Differences
Celebrate Your Differences
Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. (Psalm 103:1-2)
One thing that draws us together as men and women in marriage is our God-designed differences. Unfortunately, it is also one of the primary things that causes us to become frustrated with each other and to reject one another as being weird or abnormal.
Men and women are different by God’s design. We think differently from each other. Our major needs are different. God created us with significantly different natures. We need to accept this fact and not allow our minds to be deceived by the lie that there is someone of the opposite sex who is just like us.
I am amused when I see commercials on television about websites that offer single people an opportunity to find their ideal partner. Now, even though I hope everyone finds a compatible spouse, it is unrealistic to think that you’re going to find someone just like you.
Up until now you may have viewed your differences as a curse rather than a blessing. I want to help you be thankful for differences. That’s right; the differences between you and your spouse are actually something you should celebrate.
A man I once counseled discovered that truth after thirty years of marriage. He had never experienced an ounce of intimacy with his wife until they began to work on the problem. They made real progress and this is what he told me. “We’ve now gone through three levels in our relationship. In the first one, we totally rejected each other’s differences. Then for about fifteen years we tolerated each other’s differences.
Recently, I’ve come to understand that we can celebrate each other’s differences. I am ashamed to say it has taken me thirty years of marriage to learn this. Finally, I have come to the place I can look at her and say, ‘Thank God for the differences in my wife.’”
Knowing how to celebrate the differences in your spouse will make all the difference in your relationship. And here’s an important key: friends do celebrate their differences.
They enjoy the fact that one person has a gift or a skill they don’t have, or that one person sees things from a different perspective than they do. That’s the way best friends are.
So count your spouse as your best friend. Know that your differences can be dynamic rather than dangerous in your relationship.
Talk It Out | What are some of the gifts or skills your spouse has that you don’t have? Express your appreciation for the strengths you see in your spouse, and talk about ways you can appreciate and celebrate your differences.
Walk It Out | One morning this week, start your day with a date. Wake up early and go to breakfast together.
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