key to a romance that lasts a lifetime.

• Ephesians 1:1 (ASV)
• Ephesians 4:3 (ASV)
• Ephesians 5:22 (ASV)
• Ephesians 5:23 (ASV)

---

Key to a Romance that lasts a lifetime.

Valentines Day. A day of romance, a celebration of love, lots of advertising everywhere showing beautiful airbrushed couples devotedly leaning against each other.

So much of our subconscious pounded with a vision that lacks reality,

What does it take to have a romance that lasts a lifetime.
What is the key?

The Book of Ephesians has the key.

The first thing Paul speaks of in his letter is Who we are in Christ, what kind of people we are. Where we belong;

We are the Saints, the consecrated set- apart ones. We are those who are faithful and loyal and steadfast.

We are those who have been blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing

We were chosen before the foundation of the world, chosen to be holy consecrated, set apart.''

We have an inheritance, the indwelling holy spirit is confirmation of that inheritance

You are God's workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus that we may do those good works which God predestined for us.

You have a signicance. An importance that you may or may not be aware of. God has a good plan for your life.

You are significant, You are important because you are created and chosen by God for his good purpose.

If you try to take your significance from your husband or your wife. You will have problems.

You will try to draw out of them what they are incapable of giving. When you do that you will push them away.

Understand who you are in God, Draw confidence in the fact that you are loved and chosen by God for good. This will create a strength in you that no matter what happens you know that God has a good future for you.

A Spirit of Submission

Venessa shared something the other Sunday. She spoke about the secret of marriage being obedience. It’s a word that in our culture is quite shocking. We aren’t taught to be obedient. We are taught to do what we want to do. To do it our way.

The biblical way of living is completely opposite

Ephesians 5

Head = Source

This is a mutual submission that is more powerful than anything else on this earth.

Wives submit to your husbands
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church

Christ submitted himself to the Father, he gave up his deity, came to earth and dwelt as a person.
Christ submitted himself to death, so that he might create something completely new The Church – the bride of Christ.
Christ gave up everything that was his in order that the church could be born.

Wives submit to your husbands

Give up everything for him

Husband love your wives as Christ loves the Church

Give up everything for her.

Lets just look at this for a moment.

This is the key

So what is it that we give up.

Everything

Our rights, our independence, Our freedom.

When we choose to love and commit ourselves to another person. Then everything we have and everything we are is now going to change.

I am a different person now because I married David
David is a different person because he married me.

Choosing to marry sets that change process in motion and I can either fight it or submit to it.

I have dreams and wishes and ways of doing things. They are all going to change.

Before I married the path I took was up to me.

Now maybe the path I want to take I can’t because its not just about me, there is another person in the equation and if there are children well there are even more people to consider the path I take now is not my choice alone.

There is a common misconception about marriage. It is seen in films, on tv in magazines in books. It is that marriage brings me into a place where I love him and he loves me and now we are going to have a perfect beautiful life. We will never be alone again, the struggle is gone and life will now be glorious.

Its not true

There are going to be times in your marriage when your husband or wife acts in ways you don’t want them to act. Or does things you don’t like them doing. Or just plain annoys you.

Remember Jobs wife. He lost his children, He lost his wealth and then he lost his health. His wife had no sympathy, She was pretty angry about this whole situation, after all Job is married. This didn’t just happen to him, Her children were killed, Her wealth was gone, now her husband is sitting among the ashes scraping his gungy boils with a piece of old pot.

She was a bit ticked off. “Curse God and die” she told him

What do we do, when everything goes wrong and our loved one is sitting in misery in the middle of the ashheap.

Well often in the 20th and 21st century – We get divorced. Because all of a sudden our partner isn’t treating us the way we expect to be treated.

Human nature is – that we always believe we are right, we always know best. Our way is the only way.

Divorce is like suicide – When we choose that path we have no idea of the impact that it will have on all the lives around us. We believe that the love is gone, therefore we should go. The impact that has on our families and communities cannot be measured.

I can tell you categorically that if you rather choose the path of submission. If you give up your rights and commit to loving that person with Gods help and God’s love. If you decide that no matter what happens in that marriage you are going to serve your husband or your wife and trust God for the outcome. Then whatever finally happens with the marriage It will be the path of least harm & brokenness.

Does submitting to your husband or giving up everything for your wife mean you become a doormat. Never saying no. letting them trample all over you.

Absolutely not.

If I truly love you then I will not allow you to walk all over me. Because that is not the best way for you to live and will not create a romance that will last a lifetime.

1st 6 months of marriage.

One of the most profound and beautiful declarations of love I have ever heard was this mans wife.

Rudy Santos has a rare medical condition. He has a parasitic twin. A couple of years ago He was checked out as to whether they could operate on him and remove the twin. The surgery would be very complicated and dangerous.

His wife didn’t want him to have the surgery.

Why, because she loved who he was. He was kind and gentle a good husband and a loving father. She wasn’t worried or ashamed of his strange body. It was nothing to her. What was important was his beautiful character that she loved.

Before these controversial words in the bible the passage preceding gives us practical help on what kind of person to be? What kind of character to have?

Is this possible. Is it truly possible to have a romance that lives for ever.

A Profound mystery

The romance between a man and a woman that will last a lifetime, is a romance that reflects Jesus and the church. Marriage between a man and woman is where a promise is made that makes us blood relatives. It is a combination of blood and covenant. Jesus shed his blood that the church his bride might come forth. A combination of blood and covenant. A promise that the blood shed would bring eternal life for the chosen bride.

In the day to day life of church we can forget that this why we are together. The same is true of everyday married life. We can forget why we are together. We can let those flames go out.

True marriage real romance is where we become one, submitting to one another, growing together. Remembering that our purpose is not to build a nice life together. But it is to be a reflection of Christ and the Church.

---