S: 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

O: Paul encourages the recipients of this letter to aspire to live a quiet, under-the-radar life, minding your own business, working hard, and being dependent on no one.

A: This passage stood out to me, for many reasons. First of all, I have always hated being in the limelight. I take pride in working endlessly, in planning, executing, and completing tasks, however difficult, overwhelming, or time-consuming. Oftentimes, I get myself into more than I can handle, but I push through and get done what needs to be done. I do this as a way to provide, contribute, and GET THINGS DONE! I work hard because that is what I've agreed to do, and feel that God has called me to... to use my talents, my abilities, and my skills to lead, plan, and follow-through. I like this passage because it speaks to working hard, and doing so in a quiet manner. I like to be appreciated, sincerely appreciated, given feedback as to how my hard work influenced or affected one's life, but I have no desire to be put on the spot, publicly acknowledged, or singled out. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, actually! That would be the first reason why this passage connected with me... The second, is the last portion, speaking about living in a place where one is not dependent. This is something I am really struggling with right now, and I don't know where I stand with it. The context of the verse applies to the self-sufficiencies of these believers in their own faith, but it is hard for me to remember that, with all of my own "stuff". In the last several months, I have found myself in a place where I have suddenly been giving the gift of involvement-- parental involvement, even though I'm in my mid 20s. looking back, I was always the self-reliant kid that had two part-time jobs from the age of 14. I bought my own clothes, toiletries, medications, school supplies, school outings, shoes, etc... I worked hard and made my own ends meet. I became capable and comfortable in the idea of having to be independent and provide for my basic needs. God always provided, stepping in and giving me assistance through loving, yet transient, people in my world... Yet now, I have been blessed with a family who has reached out their hearts, home, and other resources to me... What to do with that? It is excruciatingly difficult to accept this kindness, even though it is what I have always needed/longed for. Part of me is grieving the fact that no one ever cared enough to provide it consistently in the past, yet another part of me is grieving the fact that in accepting what I've always needed, I have to let go a bit of what made me strong enough to get here. It is a very hurtful, confusing process. I don't want to be dependent, but in some respects I deserve to be, and that's okay? isn't it?

P: God, help me to navigate through the murky waters of my life right now. I feel so lost at times, wondering why I'm here, why I'm doing what I'm doing, where I'm going, who I am.... So many questions, God, and every day, I tend to just trust that you're in control and that you're shaping me into what you want of me... That helps... briefly... but the next day is very much the same. I am so unsure about so much, Lord, and I am put in a place where I feel as though I am living blindly, day-to-day, fulfilling expectations, but truly unsure as to where I'm going, who I'm becoming, and what is happening to me. So much has shifted in my world, and while I realize they are positive changes/additions, I still feel like my reality and the rug beneath my feet is being ripped away. Give me the clarity of thought, Father, to understand, accept, and internalize these changes that you have blessed me with. Accompany me on this journey and make yourself undeniably real to me. I love you and thank you for being my source of strength, Amen

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