Madness - Hurt from Rejection
Madness - Part 1 of 3 | 3.2.2008
Hurt
Today, in honor of the greatest season in sports we are beginning a brand new teaching series, called Madness.
I don’t know about you, but about this time every year – I tend to get a little mad.
The last 3 years I have experience new levels of Madness during March – because it’s been since 2005 since we last cut down the nets – however I was in a pretty good mood all throughout March that year - it always feels good to win the National Championship.
For you Duke fans it’s been 7 years since you last experienced a National Championship. So, I know you guys are dealing with some serious Madness issues.
Honestly, basketball has nothing to do with this series at all except for the fact that I enjoy finding creative ways to make fun of Duke fans!
I guess one of these days I am gonna have to stop that because I think the Duke fans are starting to hate me!
It’s okay if you choose to follow the darkness with your life - I just chose blue heaven over a blue devil! I guess that just makes me a little bit more spiritual than you! ☺
Anyways, on a more serious note – Madness is something that all of us deal with. Whether it involves us watching sports, playing sports, coaching our kid’s from the sidelines or the filed, listening to our bosses, dealing with our spouses, dealing with our kids - or kids for you dealing with your parents, dealing with friends and family, whatever.
We all experience some sort of madness in our life – most likely on a pretty consistent basis.
We have all heard it said, “That it’s what is on the inside that truly counts”. Well, over the next 3 weeks we want to take a hard look at what is on the inside of all of us.
We are the things we are dealing with at our core? What are the things that we just can’t let go of? What are the things that keep us up at night? What are the things that come out in frustrations, our arguments, our relationships.
What is spilling over on the outside because of something that is eating us away on the inside?
Hopefully, throughout this series we are going to expose some of the Madness – some of the hurt, anger, and bitterness that we are dealing with in our lives.
Because like it or not – it is effecting us. It is effecting and infecting those around you. You relationships are suffering, your parenting is suffering, your teaching and coaching are suffering, your relationship with God is suffering.
Today, we are going to be begin a journey on getting an inside look on how God offers hope and strength for overcoming these battles in our lives.
Today, we are talking about the hurts in our lives. We are talking about the pain – the rejection that we have suffered in our lives.
In 4 weeks we are going to take a look at the life of Christ – we are going to celebrate Easter and talk about the incredible gift that God gave us – as he gave his son Jesus to die for us.
As I have already begun thinking about Easter and preparing for that day – I started to think about the hurt and pain that Jesus must have experienced.
Now, we all knew that he experienced some excruciating physical pain as he was stripped naked, beaten, whipped, and nailed to a cross.
But as I started to think about the pain that must have hurt the most – I really don’t think it was the physical pain. I honestly believe what hurt the most was the pain of rejection.
The pain of knowing that you have given your life to serve and love people only to have your heart crushed by those you have loved.
I can’t imagine loving Becki or my children with all that is me – only to have them completely reject me one day – turn their back on me and stomp my heart into the ground.
I think I can endure a lot of physical pain, but that is something that I just couldn’t handle. I don’t know about you, but being rejected always seems to hurt a lot more – doesn’t it?
We are going to look at a piece of scripture found in Isaiah chapter 53. Isaiah was a prophet at in these verses he is prophesizing about what Jesus is going to endure with his life.
Isaiah 53:3, 5
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not…But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.
This verse talks about His physical pain as well, but let’s not for a moment overlook the fact that He was despised and rejected by those He was sent to love.
Tell first day of public middle school story.
No one would sit on the bus with me
Felt like Forest Gump
I remember the pain of feeling like a complete reject
I remember how bad it hurt
Maybe you’re here the morning and you lived your entire childhood life and maybe even now trying to win the approval of your parents.
Always feeling like you were a let-down, always feeling like you never measured up, never feeling like your parents were ever proud of you – always feeling like a failure.
Always feeling less than your brother or sister – always feeling like the black sheep of the family.
Maybe that is you today – you have been dealing with some hurt in your life because you feel like you have been rejected by your parents.
Maybe you are here today and you feel like you have been betrayed by someone you loved and trusted. They promised you something that they didn’t fulfill. Maybe your parents made a commitment to one another and one of them failed to keep their end of the bargain and now you are left with the hurt.
Maybe you are here today and someone crushed your heart. Someone you loved, someone you cared about – walked out on you – broke their commitment to you, cheated and lied to you and now you are left with scars of rejection.
Okay well maybe we can lighten it up a little – maybe you were the last kid picked for a team in PE.
The pain of rejection is very very real – and in some way or another – every single one of us in this room have experienced some type of rejections in our lives.
There are several different ways we can respond to hurt and rejection.
RESPONSES TO REJECTION
• I’LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE ACCEPTED.
I will change my look, the things I say, the stuff I do, I will go whatever, do whatever – if you will please please just accept me. If you will please just value me – I will do WHATEVER it takes for you to accept me.
• I’LL NEVER LET THEM HURT ME AGAIN.
Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice – it’s my fault. So what we do since we have been hurt – is we wall up – we keep people at an arms distance. We don’t let people in because we are too afraid of getting hurt again.
I heard Craig Groeschel [pastor of lifechurch.tv] refer to this type of response as what he calls relational risk management. This is where we keep everyone away – we are cautious to everyone – never want to trust anyone again because I never want to get hurt again.
You know who loves this response the most? Satan. Because when we slip into relational risk management we lose out on what God wants to do in our life. Because with God it is all about risk equals reward.
It’s all about risk and return. God says if you want to find your life, then you have to lose it first. You lose it, you risk it, you give it away.
God says you want to have meaning in your life, then you don’t take from life – you give to life. God’s word says if someone curses you – you don’t curse them back – you risk by blessing them back.
God’s word says if someone strikes you on the cheek – you risk by turning the other cheek.
Whenever we eliminate relational risk – we also eliminate the potential for relational return.
There are some of you today that are starved for relationships, that are starved for intimacy, for depth in your marriage, for close friendships, for those that you can be vulnerable with and open your heart with. – deep down you are craving for someone, but you haven’t taken a relational risk in years.
Satan loves when we wall up and turn people away because we have been hurt in our past because when we keep people away we eliminate the relational risk and the potential for a relational return.
You can only begin to imagine how Jesus felt. He was despised and reject by those he came to love. The people from his own home town turned their back on him and tried to kill him.
Imagine what it was like for him to be falsely accused. People lied about him, people said things about him that weren’t true. A man that was prefect and blameless that did not wrong was accused of all sorts of wrong.
You know for a lot of us – we can handle rejection when it comes from people out there, but man what it comes from the people we are closest to – we can’t handle that. It pierces our heart and truly effects and infects our lives forever.
Some of us today are still living with the scars from those that have rejected us in our past.
See Jesus when through some serious rejection in his life, but he never for a moment allowed it to derail Him from the mission God has given him for his life.
God has something for you life as well, but unless you will allow God to bring your through healing from the hurt and pain of rejection – you will never be able to accomplish all that God has for you.
How do we heal past the pain of rejection.
HEALING FROM THE PAIN OF REJECTION
1) I CANNOT LIVE FOR THE APPROVAL OF PEOPLE.
I will not be driven or motivated by what people think of me.
Matthew 10:14
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.
Jay-Z - Shake that dirt off your shoulder. We cannot and must not live for the approval of people.
1 Thessalonians 2:4, 6
…We are not trying to please men but God…We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.
In order to heal from the pain of rejection is that I will not live for the praise of anyone else, but God.
2) I MUST LIVE FOR THE APPROVAL OF GOD.
John 14:31
but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what My Father has commanded Me.
Jesus knew that he had come to do exactly what His father had commanded him to do. He didn’t live for the approval of people. He lived for the approval of God.
Tell my story – drugs, alcohol, sex. I was doing it all because I was living for the world’s approval. I wanted to fit in and I was living a lifestyle to please other people.
I remember one morning laying in the bed of my best friends house. I had alcohol poisoning and I had taken way too many drugs that night. I remember crying out to God because I was mad, I was hurt, I was angry, and I was bitter because sin was destroying my life.
Yeah it started out as fun, but it was quickly destroying everything around me.
I cried out to God when my world came crashing down and I left that room a different person. It still took me some time to get everything in order – to stop doing everything I was involved in, but that day began a process in my life and everything changed.
I am reminded of that verse I just read to you – this world must learn – my friends had to learn – that I love God and I must do exactly what He commanded me to do.
There has been a transition in my life and today I live my life for God – I do what He has commanded me to do and I no longer live for the approval of people – I live for the approval of God.
During Jesus time – there is a point in the Bible where Jesus is telling his disciples that He is going to give His life and His disciples are like – NO NO NO Jesus you can’t do that!
John 10:18
No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from My Father.
Even though He was rejected by people – even though He was hurt by those He cared about the most. Jesus did not allow his life to be persuaded by those around Him.
Instead of saying yes to people – He said YES to God!!
Even though He knew He would be betrayed – even though He knew He would be hurt by people – by the ones He cared about the most.
See - Jesus lived his life regardless because He didn’t live to get praises from you and I – He lived for an audience of one!
He lived His life to be praised by His father and no matter what people thought about his – not matter what they said about Him – not matter how many people rejected and betrayed Him – no matter how bad it hurt – He kept His eyes focused on God and because of His life a Revolution began over 2,000 years ago.
Because Jesus chose to stay faithful – chose to live His life for God – that is the reason we are here this morning.
Jesus was faithful to God – He loved God with His life and in return God was faithful to Him and loved Him in return.
You know what God’s loved did to Jesus.
GOD’S LOVE CAUSED JESUS TO RISK AGAIN.
The 12 men that were supposed be the closest to Him – 11 of them didn’t even show up for the funeral service.
He is betrayed by the people he poured His life into. They were His family – the people He truly cared about.
One of these guys was Judas – Judas sold Jesus old for some money. Completely betrayed Him – rejected Him and sold Him straight to the cross.
I heard a pastor say once, that there is a Judas sitting at everyone of our tables – he is close enough to kiss you on your cheek and he is waiting to betray you.
I have also hear it said – that all of us have either been betrayed, were being betrayed, or someone we know is in the process of betraying us –rejecting us – hurting us!
And usually it is those that are closest to us.
Another one of the disciples is Simon Peter – he was one of the closest to Jesus. If you know the story, then you know leading of to Jesus’ death – Peter denied ever knowing Christ because He was afraid for his life.
He betrayed Jesus – He turned His back on Him. He abandoned Him – left him out to try. Have you ever experienced that this morning? You ever had someone in your family, a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse, a child, a parent – reject you, turn their back on you, betray you?
It hurts doesn’t it?
It hurt Jesus too!
John 21:15
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you truly love Me…’
I mean here is Jesus – He has just died on the cross – It’s been 3 days and He has risen from the grave.
He approaches Simon Peter – these guys were so close that Jesus gave Simon a nick name a relational name – He called Simon Peter – the Rock.
But notice as he approaches Peter – he calls him by his formal name – he refers to him as Simon Peter – why do you think that is?
I believe it is because Jesus was hurt – I believe he was wanting to know where they stood. His best friend had betrayed him – he denied – what he said hurt – it cut deep and he wanted to know – does he still love me?
That’s when the healing power of God’s love kicked in. Jesus allowed his heart to be vulnerable again.
There are those of you today that have been hurt by people you really really love. Just as Jesus had to look to the love from God – He had to look to the healing power of His father in order to take a relational risk – in the same way today some of you are going to take a relational risk as well.
Some of you are hurting – I can see the tears in your eyes. I have read the emails – I have taken the phone calls at the office and I have talked with some of you before and after service. People have hurt – they have let you down – they have taken your heart and smashed into a million pieces.
They have scared your heart and it’s effecting your relationships, it’s effecting your marriage, your parenting – it is literally destroying you from the inside out. The hurt and pain of rejection as left that little voice in your head – reminding you that you just aren’t good enough – it’s all your fault – you can’t forget the things that were said to you – done to you.
The lies – the sneaking around – the deception – the betrayal – the rejection. You are left trying to put the pieces back together.
Here is the deal today - there are NO guarantees when you deal with people – you never know what you are going to get.
But God’s teach us this – without a faithful risk – the potential for relational return is just not there.
There is someone today that desires to have a relationship with you – one that will never let you down –one that will never reject you – one that will never kick when you are down – one that won’t lie to you or betray – one that will never hurt you.
The ultimate relational risk has already been taken on us – when God sent his son Jesus to this earth and Jesus accepted His mission for life and said – Jesus said, I have come to give my life for you and whoever believes in my – there life will never be the same.
Will you accept the unbelievable love of God – or will you choose to reject Him?
Do you truly love Him? Do you truly want and desire to have a relationship with Him? You have to make a decision today – to trust again – to love again.
You may have the hurt of rejection in your life, but you have never experienced the hurt you will feel if you choose to reject the ultimate relationship – and that’s the relationship that Jesus Christ desires to have with you.
Let’s pray!!
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