Husbands, Wives, Marriages, and Children...
Guys, you wanna be the husband that God wants you to be? Sure, we all do. We all want the marriage that makes other's look and say, "Now they've got it figured out"
Remember when you first got married? For those first two to five years before you had children, you couldn't think of a reason why you'd have struggles in your marriage and you probably found yourself wondering why others did. "This isn't tough" you say to yourself. "We've got this figured out and look, it's only been two years."
Then something happens...
Your first child is born. OK. Cool! Probably one of the best and most challenging gifts God could ever give you is sitting in your lap, ready for you to love and raise. Remember saying "We've got this figured out?" You can throw most of that out the window Bub!
Although it is one of the most joyous things that can happen to a couple, having children brings to the mix a whole different set of challenges to the marriage that can push both of you to your limits. Here's where Peter's text will come in real handy.
In the preceding verses, Peter covers wives and husbands and how each should be treated. It's no mistake that right after these verses, Peter, in verse 8 gives us the recipe for being that husband that God wants you to be.
1) Be of one mind. In other words, make sure both you and your wife have the same goals in mind. Have you ever watched a three legged race with the potato sacks. If both racers aren't running in sync and planning their steps, they eventually fall down or stumble all the way to the finish line. I don't know about you, but I don't want to stumble all the way to the finish line.
2) Sympathize. Be ready for her needs. Put them before your own. Really listen to what she's saying and for cryin' out loud, don't try to fix her! Pray about what she's talking about, and leave it in God's hands. It's YOUR job to pray. It's HIS job to answer. Trust God to do His job.
3) Love. Love is a verb and requires doing something. Guys, your wives, probably more than anything else, simply needs to feel loved. So make her feel loved. Not so much as what your thinking (and I know what your thinking...), but by small little things. Take care of something around the house without being asked. Surprise her with a date night. Take the kids and give her a break, or take everybody out for a surprise night out. Or if your wife is a planner and not a supriser, then plan it with her. Tell her you want to do something for her. Maybe let her decide. The occasional stop at the flower shop on the way home is a nice surprise. Remember the things you used to do when you were still courting your beautiful bride? Do them as you did when dating.
4) Be Tenderhearted. OK guys, here's where it gets tough for us. It's time to get in touch with our sensitive sides. Be sensitive to your wifes words. If she's complaining, let her! She's only voicing what struggles she's had throughout her day. We tend to compartmentalize this stuff and deal with it in our own ways. Your wife is not like that and needs to voice herself. This is real tough...but all ya gotta do...is listen. Show her some affection with no strings attached. If she's really struggling, while she's talking to you take her hand, or simply hold her. And if she cries, then she cries. She's not a guy and she doesn't hold back those tears. Sometimes its in those tender moments when holding her that she'll get the relief she needs.
5) Humbleness. Submit yourself to her. Humble your own needs and put hers before yours. Acknowledge her as the one you value and rejoice over. Praise her for her successes and let her know that you are praying for her and that your prayer is that you desire to become the husband God wants you to be. Believe it or not, that's probably her prayer as well.
Although this was flavored for marriages, this ultimately is the recipe that God has for us to live a life where we can be most effective for Him. It's in these qualities that people notice us and see Christ in us.
So when your first child is throwing a fit, while the youngest is taking her poopey diaper off in the living room, and your wife is pulling her hair out and is ready to come for yours, remember these 5 little ingredients, for there surely is one that will fit the bill accordingly.
Created over 3 years ago
