Pessimism
Eliphaz's statement here is in context a condemnation of Job, but the sentiment of these verses themselves strikes close to my own heart and experiences.
As a relatively new Christian, I find myself reverting back to my pre-awakening thought processes at times. Basically making decisions in life free from God's influence or the influence of His word. These I found were usually the times I felt terrified of outcomes and the effects of my actions and sins. I was living by my own rules and the results of my actions made me full of worry and very sensitive to the most common of events, like when a phone rang my initial thought would be "oh no it's so-and-so and he/she is going to want to talk about blank." By definition, my fear made me a chronic pessimist.
In hindsight, this pessimism came from the fear of not knowing what would be the results of the decisions and actions I made without considering God or His word first. As in Proverbs, I was "leaning on my prior understanding" and suffering the consequences. It made me gun shy and skittish to make decisions or face the results of my actions.
I know now that with decisions and actions made considering God's word I don't have to fear the results. I know that a good tree will bear good fruit. I am learning to be confident now in my life, knowing I have God's blessing and I am in line with His plan. That doesn't mean I will never suffer pain or regret or even disappointment, but it means I am comforted that regardless of how I feel I am close to God.
Created 4 months ago
