Broadcast 1
My church (Granger Community Church) is working through a series called Making Love...Last. We're in week 2 and the pastor leading the series, Rob Wegner, challenged us with these two next steps: Broadcast the message that others (your significant other, your best friend, your bf/gf, whoever) are "more important than you," and find one interest about them to invest in.
I've tried spending the better part of this week focusing on my actions, on whether or not i'm putting others first and letting go of my own agenda in order to meet their needs, meet them where they are rather than waiting for them to "catch up" to me. I confess, this was kinda hard.
I would like to pride myself with being pretty selfless, hospitable and laid back, but my outward actions don't necessarily reflect the inward battle raging under the surface. I'm very Type-A. I like schedules, organization and some form of routine. I like knowing what's going on and being prepared. I adhere to particularities like a shark to water. Does that make me anal? Certainly...not...no, well, maybe a little but...What's wrong with that? This was a rhetorical question, but you know God: He has an answer for everything.
I spent the better part of my day off with a good friend of mine. What should have been only 2-3 hours was actually 6. It wasn't intentional, i do enjoy the time i spend with this friend, but i left feeling frustrated all the same. i had other plans in mind, things i had thought about doing for myself later that day. But i did not communicate this and chose to adhere to her schedule (essentially, meet her interests) instead. Driving home with my thoughts, i concluded that my annoyance was justified and that she should have been more considerate of my time. You can say it: i suck.
The next day, i re-evaluated my feelings and God gave me a better answer: "You aren't always going to be in control, things aren't always going to go according to your plans or fit neatly into your schedules. If you struggle with joyfully submitting to the lives and interests of others, how will you ever submit to Mine?"
Dang. i really suck. I'm not nearly as "grown-up" as i thought i was and choosing integration rather than alienation (as our pastor tells us) to serve the interests of others is going to be a transforming process. My need to be particular and structured is overshadowed by God's need for me to realize i don't have to have it all figured out right now. Ah, brain revelation.
Created over 2 years ago
