Spending time with Him in His back room.
http://i-lovedyoufirst.livejournal.com/151216.html
"I stretch myself out. I sleep.
Then I'm up again--rested, tall and steady,
Fearless before the enemy mobs
Coming at me from all sides."
Psalm 3:5-6, MSG
I think where I'm at is more accurately described by the message. "I sleep. Then I'm up again--rested, tall and steady." The past week has been so dry for me, spiritually. I've felt far, in a place where I know I should be reading and praying, but I just haven't wanted to. So I've given in to my flesh and just not. It's a sad place to be, especially when it comes right on the tail of a bout of such spiritual excitement. I was so enthused to be in God's word every day, searching it out and letting God reveal such amazing things to me. But when that started to taper out, when sometimes it was just reading instead of unlocking buried treasure, it was like I just wanted to pull back and wait until God gave me the *boom* back. Dumbest thing. I know that's not how it works.
The evangelist that came to speak at youth group last night touched on that really well. He said that he originally had something else he planned to talk about, but yesterday morning his wife informed him that she'd had a dream, and that he had to preach about it (coolest ever). So he did (equally as cool). Her dream pertained to 2 Kings 9, more specifically, the anointing of Jehu. He spoke about how the nameless, faceless young prophet was given this HUGE job to do, in which he had to take Jehu to the back, hidden room, anoint his head with oil, and prophecy that he would be king over Israel. His focus point was the back room, and our need to spend time with God there.
One specific thing he said a few times that really hit home with me was, "If you're not spending time with Him in that back room, then everything you're doing for Him is just works, even if it seems like it's bringing Him glory. Ouch. It made me think a lot about my Youth Group endeavor. I want us to be able to do this with hearts that are prayed up, where we're supposed to be with God. When I think about it, I'm ashamed at how little time I spend in prayer. Even in my "up" times with God, I'm not with Him in that back room like I should be. And I want to be. I want to spend the time of prayer with Him that He desires from me, whether I want to or not. I like that thing that Pastor says a lot, about praying and worshiping and reading when you don't want to. It's not hypocrocy, it's pushing through. And God honors that.
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