Darius was a made man
Darius doesn't get a grand ascendancy, "He took the throne!" No he was made king, very passive almost weak.
May seem like a leap but preparing for last week's message I became aware of a name or label I placed on myself-Mediocre. Never been great at anything always mediocre at everything. There is a longing in my soul to be great, almost a demand but life has taught me to only let it out when it is possible to achieve the greatness that I desire otherwise keep it locked up because it is embarrassing to try and not achieve.
In ways I feel like Darius, most everything I achieved happened to me not because of me. Now there is something corruptingly (new word!) spiritual about that statement. God just does it thru me! Me and Jesus and I am nothing. If that were the case it would be okay but it is not. I know God uses me and I know he can do things thru me that I can't do myself. BUT I also know the evil that lurks in side me wanting desperately to be recognized for something I did not God. Oh I'd never say it that way, that would be unchristian but the truth is, I am a little child wanting to recognized for something.
Being a child of the eternal God never seems enough. I need my own personal reformation. Sola Gratia screamed Luther into history and I need my own personal Luther screaming into my ear and challenging the deep longing to amount to something beyond my Father in heaven.
Father, may I have the softness of Daniel to see you, and take on my people's shame and beg for your love to come!
Created over 2 years ago
