who am i?
the first thing that echoes for me in these verses is that big big question: "who am i that You love me like this?" it's a mind boggler, to be sure, one that's right at the heart of the earner vs. heir journey. i've spent a long time trying to wrap every part of my heart around this, around just easing into this kind of love, this kind of acceptance- but so often, i still find myself working/striving to earn something. . .but as i think about it, when i'm earning- isn't that usually me trying to earn love from sources other than You? that song i've so often sung during worship times- "Your grace is enough"- do i really believe it? if i do, why do i waste so much time trying to add to Your awe inspiring love and friendship by trying to earn something from the people around me? it cuts back to my first question, really- the "who am i?" question- because this journey is a journey of IDENTITY. "who am i?" needs to be more than a casual question, it's something i need to soak in. am i a slave to earning love/respect from others (really a slave to my own self centered desire to get something from them), or am i an heir to something only You could give? which brings me back to that image that was suggested to me a long time ago in a group: the image of me on a street, begging and capering for scraps of approval, acceptance, respect, from the crowds- when You're right behind me, offering an open invitation to a feast at Your table. . .Jesus, i don't know what i'll choose tomorrow- and i don't know why i've so often chosen to stay on the streets and beg in the past. for today, though- give me the wisdom to choose Your feast. help me to see my identity as Your beloved son, and not worry over why You choose to give me that identity. help me to soak and marinate myself in Your love today!
Created over 2 years ago
