A Chaplain's Musings: On Psalm 42: 4&5

• Psalm 42:4 (NIV84)

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These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

I think that today a little back ground information might be appropriate. As the title of this blog implies, I am a Chaplain. I am also a recovering addict and alcoholic, and as such my primary area of responsibility has been our congregations Recovery Ministry. However, over the course of 2009 I threw away five years of sobriety in numerous episodes of binge drinking. When the guilt and shame of this became too much for me I confessed this to all concerned and tendered resignation from ministry. To my surprise, our Pastors and Elders asked me to consider a one year sabbatical with the goal of restoration rather than resignation-to which I agreed.

And so, I have begun to lay a hold of this passage as never before. Like the Psalmist, when discouragement over my failure darkens my soul I need to remind myself that my hope lies not in me but in my God. That I am powerless, but "there is One who has all power." That He is acquainted with my sorrows and has overcome on my behalf. That I will yet praise Him-and that He will yet be pleased with my praise. And that, dear friends , is what's so amazing about grace!!

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