Vital Friends and Disciples

What is it to be a friend of Jesus, a disciple, as well as a friend and disciple in the world today?
Have you longed for friendships or wondered what makes certain friendships, partnerships in ministry and marriages "work"?

I was surprised by a book a few years back. It was published by Tom Rath. It provided such amazing summary of friendships that I have referred it to many of my friends and consider it a valuable model for those who are disciples, disciples who disciple others - true friends who bring vitality to others.

The author, Tom Rath says that there are 8 vital roles a real friend may fill. In my reflection on more than 20 years of ministry it seems that many times a good friend will have 2-3 qualities while our "contacts" or "associates" we appreciate may only have 1 or 2 qualities. My first wife offered me only 2 qualities (in the best of our years) But when I think of my partner and future wife 4 bulbs light up! It gives me courage to prepare myself for a second marriage.

What do you think? Who in your life has revealed these qualities? Pray for God to comfort you with those friends who can provide you the aspects you still lack. And consider with intentionality, what type of friendship you can offer those whom you disciple.

The 8 vital roles identified by Tom Rath are:

1. Builder
“Builders are great motivators, always pushing you toward the finish line. They continually invest in your development and genuinely want you to succeed — even if it means they have to go out on a limb for you” (87).

2. Champion
“Champions stand up for you and what you believe in. They are the friends who sing your praises. Every day, this makes a difference in your life. Not only do they praise you in your presence, but a Champion also ‘has your back’ — and will stand up for you when you’re not around” (93).

3. Collaborator
“A collaborator is a friend with similar interests — the basis for many great friendships. … When you talk with a collaborator, you’re on familiar ground … you often find that you have similar ambitions in work and life” (99).

4. Companion
“A companion is always there for you, whatever the circumstance. You share a bond that is virtually unbreakable. When something big happens in your life, this is one of the first people you call” (105).

5. Connector
“A connector is a bridge builder. …. Connectors get to know you — and then introduce you to others” (111). Connectors are always inviting you to lunch and other gatherings where you can meet new people, and point you in the right direction when you need something.

6. Energizer
“Energizers are your ‘fun friends’ who always give you a boost. You have more positive moments when you are with these friends. Energizers are quick to pick you up when you’re down — and can make a good day great” (117).

7. Mind Opener
‘Mind Openers are the friends who expand your horizons and encourage you to embrace new ideas, opportunities, cultures, and people. They challenge you to think in innovative ways and help you create positive change. Mind Openers know how to ask good questions, and this makes you more receptive to ideas” (123).

8. Navigator
“Navigators are the friends who give you advice and keep you headed in the right direction. You go to them when you need guidance, and they talk through the pros and cons with you until you find an answer. In a difficult situation, you need a Navigator by your side. They help you see a positive future while keeping things grounded in reality” (129).

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Buy the Book: http://astore.amazon.com/wwwworldwid02-20/detail/1595620079
Copyright © 2006 Gallup, Inc

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